my life ended when it begun

maybe i believed too much in superstitions..

i woke up today, fixed my bed because i have this belief that if i fic my bed right before i put my foot down my day will be fine and dandy. i religiously followed that everyday of my life and it screwed up today, the superstition didn't work this time.

i went to school with a pounding heart, my parents were going to quiapo and decided to take the lrt with me but some things happened that i have to leave them at the station, i felt guilty about it and assumed a bad karma on my way, and it did.

the thing was i failed economics today. today it was confirmed that i had no chance of getting a lowly grade of 3 from her, that professor. i know very well that i prepared for this day, that i will no longer cry when i see my grade, but i just couldn't take the environement i was in awhile ago. people were shouting, they were all rejoicing and what was i doing? i was crying.. i was crying so hard as if my tears can prick my stone hearted professor.. my perfect professor..

my grades were absolutely fine if she didn't flunk me. i have an uno in my major subject.. and the lowest grade i have was 2.5. i was proud and thanked God that i was able to pull my Philo grades up from a prelim grade of 69 i managed to have a 95 in my finals. it was just that this eco subject was an eyesore to my boastful grades...

but.. on second thought. though she was one of the people i abhorred in my life, because i know that i have given my very best, i was kissing her ass all the time, being active and all, but she didn't accounted anything for me to pass.. she was one of those people whom i have sacrificed things just to please, but i wasn't appreciated in any way.. but.. i'm teaching myself right now, that instead of hating her, them, instead of cussing their name, i'll be praying for her, for them.. and be taking all of these as a challange... i'll be strong... i will be...

"my life ended when it begun.."

i was happy for one moment and sad for another..
my buddy hugged and gave me a peck on the cheek today, and i found out that he was keeping all the text messages i sent him before.. all the things he did and said today was that big something that made me happy today... i felt loved.. i felt appreciated...

thank you buddy and loveyou po..