ok.it's new year

and since it's new year... i have nothing important to say.
i still feel taken for granted and all, of course by him...
hmm.. i'm waiting for my mother to destroy my day,haha! i hope not..
there are alot of wishes i have in mind.. and i know not all of those wishes will come true..
*sigh*
have i told you i'm tired of living a tired life?...

ok. i need to clean my room now.. goodbye to the dusts of 2005...

my late posts

well well well. christmas day came. adn nothing really special happened. well, my ex called and was hunting me down again. that's not special, it's scary.freaky. right. we went to gale for our annual movie watching chevers. some waatched enteng kabisote, legal wife, kutob, exodus and terrorist. hehe who cares? we're supporting the local movie industry!diba? hehehe what else. i'm currently broke and suicidal again. i feel so insecure nanaman. i'm 18, yes i am of legal age and all but they still treat me as if i was a gradeschooler who can't tie her shoelace. pathetic. last night nga pala kat, nikki, jheng and i went to metrowalk to have dinner. as usual dencio's..tapos after that we went sa gutson. and drinked. drank.drunk.. hahaha i had shots of tequilla and sex on the beach and a sip of blowjob. yeah. mga pahabol na naughtiness for the year 2005! hooray for me for being such a problem child! well that's what my mother thinks. kai the problem-irresponsible child. that's what they all think anyway.. here i go again, lost. this morning, i woke up pretty. washed my face, prepared myself a cup of coffee and mom ordered me to cook our breakfast. i cheerfully did this and that and what did my lovable mother said?

"PAGTRABAHO NA TALAGA NAPAKABIGAT NG KATAWAN MO! BAHALA KA BUHAY MO YAN!!PANO NA PAGNAG-ASAWA KA?ANO NAGDADABOG KA NANAMAN! MAPAGSABIHAN KA LANG NG KONTI!!"

ok.imagine.waking up beautifully.waking up on the right side of the bed. and then your mother shoots you with those words.know what i did?i criiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeddddddd!!! tae kasi.

so. i bet you all with a hundred thousand pesos and swearing on chito miranda's hot nape, my mom will surely dstroy my 2006...

whattalife.

ps.

my shoutouts:

BUDDY-wala lang.hehe

MINGU-bring me home something from Hongkong! :)

MY LRTmates-miss you guys!

PAS-nice blog,eh! teach me!!daya niyo umalis kayo ni minnie!! miss you!!!!

V.SIS MINNIE-daya niyo!hahaha bat di ka nagrereply sa kin ha??

TERD-tae ka! loveyou!!haha

i am now entitled for a normal life again..

i hope i'm not speaking too soon. god, i miss the good old days where i could just bum around and bitch life as i always do. and now the december prod is overrr!!

grarrr!!! hahaha goodbye aguinaldo! goodbye salimbal! goodbye christmas wish! woohoo!! goodbye set!!! my goodness, waws it hell down there at colayco! but thank you God for blessing us with a tolerable weather at least! thanks for the audiences, kahit na minsan may mga FGD kami. where they would yawn and all. haay. but i'm glad, tired and happy it was all over. thanks to ate anne roman for bearing with me and us survving our suicidal thoughts. haha thanks to ate andy, my alternate. to the 2 sundays of our production: kuya gret and kuya cyril..where lavinia had her shining moment. kahit flop. hahahaha and my GAB!! pootah! he was crying right before his gala, you know thinking stuff like he was such a fluking flop. pero GAHD!! kung nakitqa niyo siya! whoa!! ang galing galing galing! and speaking of galing, ang galing talaga ni buddy ko! wahahaha nanuod si nikki and jheng and they were telling na ang galing daw ni baltazar. wahaha buddy ko yun! hehehe yuck puro tawa na lang ako. well anyways, i love that prod. kahit pagod. kahit puyat. kahit gutom. kahit sobrang pulubi na kami. (nga pala, one time pumunta kami ni star sa divi and narealize namin na wala na pala kaming pamasahe pauwi, hehe know what we did? nangharang kami ng ab student sa morayta para humingi ng dos. P2.00, poorita noh?) di bale masaya naman. :) after the prod nga i was screaming! hugging! licking.. di joke lang! hehe i hugged buddy. tangina ang galing galing niya kasi! woohoo!! so..

as i was saying. pahinga muna anak ako. ganoon na lang. sana nga matupad, i have to catch up with my chever lessons. have to be a normal student muna. well.. i guess eto muna for now. ta ta.

by the way i still can't feel christmas. :(

sick updates

well.. hmm.. last friday we had an overnight. for bonding purposes only. nothing realy that important.--end of issue--

then we had our pictorials. saan? sa BICUTAN!! God! ang layo! anyways. had fun naman. they colored my face with crayons, i mean make up and all. stike a pose. and had an ugly pic. hehehe me and my big erin brokabitch mouth. eww. hehehe so..

tomorrow. i will regain myself sa mg a tth classes. haay.. God please. i don't wanna flunk again!!!!!!!! sob.sob.sob

buddy?

binabasa mo ba to?

umm..

GALIT AKO SAYO!!!

hehehehe

joke lang.

sus.

kaw pa.


hehe



tme to hit the horrid books.

ps:

ballerina ako for the next prod. kamusta naman. i know no ballet!!

my life ended when it begun

maybe i believed too much in superstitions..

i woke up today, fixed my bed because i have this belief that if i fic my bed right before i put my foot down my day will be fine and dandy. i religiously followed that everyday of my life and it screwed up today, the superstition didn't work this time.

i went to school with a pounding heart, my parents were going to quiapo and decided to take the lrt with me but some things happened that i have to leave them at the station, i felt guilty about it and assumed a bad karma on my way, and it did.

the thing was i failed economics today. today it was confirmed that i had no chance of getting a lowly grade of 3 from her, that professor. i know very well that i prepared for this day, that i will no longer cry when i see my grade, but i just couldn't take the environement i was in awhile ago. people were shouting, they were all rejoicing and what was i doing? i was crying.. i was crying so hard as if my tears can prick my stone hearted professor.. my perfect professor..

my grades were absolutely fine if she didn't flunk me. i have an uno in my major subject.. and the lowest grade i have was 2.5. i was proud and thanked God that i was able to pull my Philo grades up from a prelim grade of 69 i managed to have a 95 in my finals. it was just that this eco subject was an eyesore to my boastful grades...

but.. on second thought. though she was one of the people i abhorred in my life, because i know that i have given my very best, i was kissing her ass all the time, being active and all, but she didn't accounted anything for me to pass.. she was one of those people whom i have sacrificed things just to please, but i wasn't appreciated in any way.. but.. i'm teaching myself right now, that instead of hating her, them, instead of cussing their name, i'll be praying for her, for them.. and be taking all of these as a challange... i'll be strong... i will be...

"my life ended when it begun.."

i was happy for one moment and sad for another..
my buddy hugged and gave me a peck on the cheek today, and i found out that he was keeping all the text messages i sent him before.. all the things he did and said today was that big something that made me happy today... i felt loved.. i felt appreciated...

thank you buddy and loveyou po..

papa jheng.. what?

last night was a total pain for me. we went to the Marikina Riverbanks waited, walked as my bestfriends shouted directions over the phone. after so and so minutes we found out that we were in the wrong place! shit. my mom and yes my dad too was really really mad at me for wasting gas, it was sooo late already and they were hungry and it was official, we were lost. we actully should go to a place they call: Marikina RiverPARK P-A-R-K and not River B-A-N-K ok?

so there we finally saw what nikki was talking about the "River Booze" which mama kept on reading as "River Booosh" hehe and after 5 laps of driving in circles, asking tuod security guards and fat guys i finally heard my two friends! argh! i was so pissed but my annoyance was gone when i saw what landmark kat was telling me about, the girl with the perky boobs. hehe here's a pic.

my bestfriend kat jammed with the resident band at papa jhengs.. este.. papajeks.. she sang "i don't wanna wait" and yup nikki and i were the proudest bestfriends on earth. hehe

there was a dresscode:

mini skirts.

and by the way. if you guys will ever try papajeks, warning: guys think waiting for girls in the washroom is a hot idea. yun yung uso don. trust me, trust US!

the notebook

i found a reason to cry in public. i went to the video shop today and rented some cds. first i watched kutcher's a lot like love, it was funny and romantic and it was just funny that they end up seeing each other after they had their break-ups with their lovers. fubu?nah.. hehe next was the notebook. i was so great and figured out that that Noah was the young Hercules! the one from abs-cbn's tagalized episodes? yah. yummy! well.. here's the cheesy part..

watching the notebook brought me to rivers of tears! i was crying ugly! with loud sobs and all, my heart was so heavy after watching it and my eyes are really swollen. i was crying way too much that i found myself crying over trivial things, i was crying not because of the movie, i was crying because of my own pain in the ass life. that was really stupid. i know.

i was crying because nobody is inlove with me.... okay that was pathetic. delete.

i was crying because i feel so lost, so lost with everybody. hearing people talk about their love, their lost and regained love, thier forever love their heated passion. i hate seeing lovers so inlove because i always try to fit into their shoes and find that it was not really for me. i drown myself with saddistic music and movies, trying to help myself realize that i should get a damn life, try to move on try to get up, leave and be strong, be absolutely strong!

i was crying because it was such a good movie. such a great love story that i will keep on searching,searching on something that i know i will never have..