when will sorrow find its own grave

when will sorrow find it's own grave?

ang sagot ni kaibigang nurse rachel, a newly found friend from ambergris solutions...

rachel: 'pag namatay yung sorrow... kasi diba? mga namamatay lang ang napupunta sa grave?

tae. siya nga naman. sorrow will be delivered to its grave when it dies. if it dies.

so....


DIE NOW!!

DIE!!

a serious post

May 23rd
to: my younger cousin.

i wanted to protect you.

i wanted to save you from all the mishaps of your own making.

i wanted to.

i wanted you to realize all of that,

that i wanted you to change.

that i wanted you to know you were wrong,

and that you should do something about it.

but you never listened to the words that i never said.

you never even tried to decipher what i wanted you to

KNOW.

you never took it seriously.

and you did it again.

caught you red handed, your eyes were eyes of someone i do not know.

eyes of which i fear to see in the wee hours of the morning.

your eyes delivered tears in my eyes.

don't i deserve a little respect?

to be treated like that?

don't i deserve to be respected?

and now i was told to let everybody know.

so i did.

they have to.

and you have to know too.

not to sneak into my room,

in about 2 in the morning.

not to...

no, they don't have to know everything.

though it pains me to be all alone in this,

it'll be between you and me.

read what i am not writing.

hear what i am not saying.

heed what i am not imploring.

we'll leave it that way.

because,

you need respect.

you need love.

especially when you do not actually

deserve it.

from: ate kai

a review of almost everything

DA THE VINCHI CODAH.

i was pretty excited to watch this film, you know, excited to see how they were able to squeeze a full novel to 2 and a half hours.. excited to see how they were able to plot things as mr. dan brown did.. i was having happy thoughts then when this certain voice interrupted my train of thoughts..

the sta. lu peeps : 18 lang po pwede.
kai: i'm 18.
the sta.lu peeps: may i.d ka ba?
kai: i'm 18!! september 21, 1987, hello im turning 19 this september, im employed, incoming second year college of THE university of STO TOMAS!! hello??
the sta.lu peeps: sorry talaga, masyadong kontrobersial ang movie. hindi pwede.
kai: hello?? ikwento ko pa sa inyo yan! (weh? nasa page 24 pa lang ako..) nabasa ko na rin ANGELS and DEMONS, ano ikwento ko?? (hindi mo pa rin tapos, may 3 chapters left pa)

i was so pissed! why?? judging me because of my HEIGHT!! tae. i hate being small! i walked out, called my mother, and gahd, she was laughing, ok pissed me more. so i went back to my father to tell him i going home kasi NATAPAKAN pagkatao ko, when i saw him holding 2 tickets. hehe ok na raw.. magic!

the movie started. ok. the movie's starting. uhh.. ok. nevou was there, langdon, ok. sauniere. ok. yeah. ok. umm.. yeah.

CONTROVERSIAL?
KONTROBERSYAL?

which part? that mary magdalene was the wife of jesus and that they had a child, that was the foregrandeiestmother of this officer nevou who was the "grandaughter" of saunier who was killed by the albino named silas who was under the opus dei faith. ok. that was it. it didn't quite pinned me to my seat. well, i was.. as if i have a choice.

the influx of people were naturally because of man's ultimate pakiki-usi. usiyoso. whatever the spelling may be, it's because people were CURIOUS. and since pinoys are damn too curious about everything else, DA VINCI's earning here. but once the word-of-mouth takes place, bye DA VINCI. i know not everyone was impressed. Tom Hanks admitted that he wasn't at his best in that movie. tsk tsk tsk. guess, ANGELS and DEMONS will not exist if this movie won't even have a break-even profit. gahd. ECO.

ECO's finally over! hahaha and i flunked my finals. yeah yeah yeah. i'll do a tribute post to eco. next time.

well, as for my CCA job. i'm having this info overload. and i'm really not doing that well. last friday we had our call simulation chevers and it really MADE my day. i stuttered. and my locomotor skills were disabled, as well as my thinking ability. grar.. bottom line was, tama ako sa mga ginawa ko pero alam na alam ko naman na tyamba lang yun.. ugh. pissed.

((amoy med building sa bahay namin ngayon, yung smell ng morgue sa med.?)

here i go again...

I see them, and all I feel is insecurity and envy. If only I could be where they are now. If I weren't lazy, procrastinating, and afraid of facing and doing the right things, I could have been like them, people who have the urge of moving their way to do what they have to do. What seems to be wrong? Why am I avoiding the things that I really want to do? When will I finally take that step and not just dare myself to do so? What am I so scared of?

-the somnambulist

was too early for my eco class so i decided to treat myself for a P20 worth of airconditioning, a seat and an hour of internet surfing. i miss blog hopping and went through my kada's blog, and was able to come up to the somnambulist's site.

lately i was just happily going with the flow of everything, be contented where the wind takes me and when i read her posts it dawned on me again. i was actually floating to nowhere...

i was really direction-less.
empty handed.
no mission.
no goal.
no ambition.
no evertyhing.
NOTHING.

francis and i had a talk yesterday. asking how was my first 3 days of training, i said it went ok and here's what he said.

cis: nagulat nga si ate mineh pano ka natanggap dun eh.

see. even my own mother doubts how i was able to get the job (as a trainee). that was really something. and i am still NOTHING.

i have a serious problem with knitting my words when speaking, have a terrible problem with grammar and they're all wondering how i came this far.. i am wondering.

maybe i really have an ambition.

all i ever wanted was to be happy. and to make ALL of YOU happy. i want to make my parents proud. i just want to know ME. and that i CAN do something worthwhile.

...na hindi ako bobo tulad ng iniisip niyo..

zzzzzzzzzz...

1. complete this phrase: "i could have been.." more confident if it weren't for..

2.what is the wallpaper on your cellphone?.. the pig i drew during our personality test, a pig named toitoi! :)

3.did you get enough sleep last night?..hahaha no!

4.first thing you thought about this morning when you woke up?i wish he was hugging me kanina, lamig eh!

5. do u ever wonder why the sky is blue?.. i used to. but then i have a lot of things to attend to.

6. ever tried to skip meals?.. oo naman.

7. grilled or fried?.. fried!

8. what makes you unique from others?.. i'm unpredictable. weh??

9. are you afraid of the dark?.. sometimes.

10. favorite hangout?.. kat's and mingu's house. oogles.

11. people you can't live without?.. family, barx, kada, lahat na!

12. first thing you will buy if given 1 thousand dollars?.. erm.. laptop na rin!

13. favorite song when you're sleepy?.. tummy ache by sugarfree

14. what are you afraid of?.. isolation, snakes and everything else!!

15. are you a giver or taker?.. giver.

6. if you could choose another name for yourself,what would it be?.. hmm.. france?

17. what is your mom's name?..minerva

18. most recent movie that you watched?.. the wild!

19. invisible for a day, what would you do?.. spy on my toitoi.

20. stuck on a desert island & could have only one kind of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?dunkin donuts.

21. favorite tv commercial?.. fita, coke, mcdo, globe.

22.if you were dead and your soul was given another chance, what would you do first?.. say sorry to my parents, kiss them if possible. thank my friends for everything. find my ex and see if he's doing fine. find my current and say everything i want and what he needs to hear.

23. if you could choose your eye color,what color would you like to have?..fine with what i have.

24. what are the things you always bring?.. phone, powder, gloss, money.

25. what did you wanna be when you were a kid?.. a gymnast! hehehe dahil kay pink ranger!

26. what do you usually do when the clock turns 7am?.. ahhhh.. try to wish i was in a different dimension.

27. the color of your bedsheet?..pink?

28. any messages?.. ok lang yan wag lang magdrugs.

week 2

ok. so things are getting worse now. i have to accomplish a lot of things tomorrow and i wonder if i can succesfully do that! here are the list of things i have to shake the heavens for:

• an nbi clearance
• sss something something
• my driver's license
• drug test

and i can't skip class anymore because if i do, dr. lopez will definetely flunk me.

i just realized a lot of things...

argh.

an amateur nocturnal baby

sorry haven't been posting lately. been BUSY for the past few days. and i'm really.. umm.. trying the best i could to keep up.

here's my schedule from now on:

8:00am- i wake up
11:00am- off to school
1:00-3:00pm- the friggin' eco class

then i'll proceed to pasig. sleep for an hour and a half. get dressed.

6:00- leave for market!market!
((never take the company's shuttle becase they'll shut the life off of you))
7:00pm-12:00mn- the whatchamacallit training.
1:00am- time of epected arrival at home
2:00am- expected time of dozing off

and it goes rounf and round....

ugh. life's getting harder. and it will definetly be EXTRA HARDERERESTIEST once school has opened. tae. tae. tae.

need a lot of miracles, prayers, multivitamins and coffee. grrr..

need love. GIVE ME SOME LOVVIN'!! nyahahahahaha!!