can i raise my white flag now and surrender?

i'm really really really tired.
of all the lies.
of all the happy-ay-hindi-pala moments with you.
i'm tired being tired.
i love you.
and it's poking me now,
that YOU
you sonofanidontknow.
YOU
don't.

i just hope.
that you'll be man enough...
to face me.
and look at me.
and say what you have to say.
JUST SAY IT.
give me back my life.
you captured every fucken light from me.
just tell me if i have to dig you a grave now,
tell me to pronounce your eulogy,
tell me if i have to mourn this "forever" that we called.
tell me....
i just have to hear it from you...

MATIRA MATIBAY!!

wahahaha!! wait. actually nakakahiya kasi... i conditioned myself na hindi na talaga ako makakanuod ng concert ng parokya ni edgar. na never ko pa sila napanuod live. i know. pathetic.

i felt so unlucky. na hindi ko nakuha albertus magnus for our Agnoia play, tapos yung long time ever ko na dream hindi ko pa.. umm.. maabot? tae.

and then THURSDAY, AUGUST 30, 2007. akalain mong, pumayag na ang College of Science and debate para makuha ko ang venue nila sa albertus, OMTI symposium CALLED na oo daw they're willing to give me their auditorium. HAYOOOOOOOOOOP!!

and then NIKKI, my bestfriend called and said na ifree ko daw ang sarili ko sa friday kasi may pupuntahan kami... WEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH??? wala nga ako pera i said, sabi niya SAGOT daw niya. heheheh ANG SAYA!!!!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 31, 2007: went to school to do all the things i have to fix for AA and the other organizations that helped me find a venue.

im sorry CASA AD. ALIPININ NIYO NA AKO SA MGA SUSUNOD NA ACTIVITIES. pasensya na po talaga. baet ng KADA, kinunsiniti nila ako. naman.

6:00pm- na kayla NIKKI na ako. washed up. changed clothes. and RAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!
7:30- MRT SHAW station. tawa galore.
8:00- nalimutan ko kung anong station yun... pero basta
8:30- nagTAXI. tapos FOLK ARTS THEATRE NA!!!!

pumila... ayun... chinika si KUYA VICTOR PAGUE, isang bouncer. hehe nakinukwento sa akin ang wowowee for some reason, at kinuwento niya sa akin si KUYA GRET "GRETA". hehe at sinabing sa end ng concert pagnakita niya kami, ibibigay niya sa amin ang SECURITY ID niya. YEEHAY!!

RED SEATS kami. so yun. hindi talaga front row, about 20 seats away from the stage. ok lang :) tapos lumipat kami para mas malapit sa stage, gilid nga lang.

MOONSTAR 88 was first. tae. narealize ko ANG PANGET NG SET!! natatakpan ng isang malaking "welcome barangay poste" ang banda. pakshet. badtrip!! kung dun din tutugtog ang PNE tangina mamatay na talaga kuko ng set master nila!!!!

so lumipat kami, sa bandang gitna, yung dati naming pwesto, malayo, pero kita mo. pero narealize naming upuan pala yun ng LIFESYTLE NETWORK so bumalik kami sa dati naming seats, only to find, ang MAGSYOTANG SUGO NG DIYOS PARA ITEST ANG PASENSYA KO! THEY GOT OUR SEATS!!!! pero alam naming hindi naman talaga amin yun pero kinausap ni nikki. ayaw. ayaw humarap, binulungan na nga ni nikki ng "bitch" hindi pa rin pumalag. TAEEEEEEEEEE. NALULUHA NA AKO. ANG LAYO NA NGA SA STAGE, WALA NA MAKITA, EPAL PA YUNG MAGSYOTA, AT SI NAGPAPACUTE PA SI YAEL YUZON!!!!!!

tae. pero sabi nga ni ANGGE pagnakita ko na raw ang PNE mawawala na raw kabadtripan ko. true enough! dahil KAMIKAZEE pa lang, nagwawala na ako. hahaha!!! tumayo na kami ni nikki, at tinabihan namin yung magsyota, na KJ naman.. hanggang tap lang sila ng fingers and toes, tae pag nasa concert ka you go wild dapat! hehehe HAYOP si JAY CONTRERAS, SEXXXXY!!! hahaha nakakaloka.

tapos... PAROKYA na!!! naku CHITO!!!!! waaaaaaaaahhhh!! basta ang saya na talaga nung narinig ko na si CHITO, yung feeling na parang AKO NA MAY ARI NG LAHAT NG AUDITORIUM SA UST!!! ganon!!!! taena talaga at ang magic phrase na nagpasa talaga sa kin ay:

CHITO: PASENSYA NA PO HA? WALA MUNANG TICKET TICKET NGAYON.... LUMAPIT NA KAYO LAHAT DITO!!!

OMG!! wala ng poise poise at pasweet, tumalon kami agad ni nikki dn sa bakod na nagseseperate sa nga red seaters at reserved seats, mg a 5 feet siguro yun?? ahahahha hindi ako FRONT SEAT, FRONT FRONT ROW AKO!!! NEXT TO THE BOUNCERS! hahahaha ANG SAYA TALAGA!!!!!!

tambay mode lang talaga yung concert nila, nahawakan ko lang braso niya, tinuro niya lang naman ako nung kinakanta niya yun "OK LANG YAN PAREHO TAYOOOOOO"- inuman na, pinicturan lang naman kami ni JAY CONTRERAS gamit ang isang DSLR na ng isang di nakikilalang photographer, hehehehe

WOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! wala na yata akong maalala. basta yun. ang saya. nakipagbonding kami after sa mga audiomen, cameramen, security, event masrhalls, hehehehe ang saya talaga!! tapos close na close na kami ni BOUNCER KUYA JAY EXTRA LARGE, kamukha niya kasi si JAY CONTRERAS, extra large nga lang siya. hehehe sa sobrang close niya sa min, pinapauwi na niya kami! haha may mga bouncer pang, UY! KAYO YUNG NASA DULO NA NAKARATING sa HARAP KANINA AH!! hehehe KEBERRRR! nilibre namin sila ng coke. hehe

at.... edi, wala na yung mga tao. biglang lumabas ang pamilyar na mukha... sabi ko, "SI VINCH.... WAAAH!! VINCI!!!!!!" edi lumingon siya!!! hahaha nagpapicture kami!!!! ang baet sobra!! may yakap pang kasama!!! hehehehe

si chito naman.. eh.. sa backstage tlaga lumabas... haay.. ok lang.. MASAYA PA RIN AKO!!

THANKS AIRA SA PAG-COVER SA KIN!
THANKS MINGU SA PAMASAHE!
THANKS NIKKIPOT AND KATPOT SA LIBRENG TICKET!!!!!!

visit http://kaidox.multiply.com for pictures :)

MALAPIT NA AKONG MAMATAY!!

ineffectivity

feel so bad lately. so many things to do.. i want to run away and hide and.. actually... sabi ko lang yun. I can't and won't walk out of everything. it's just that, lately, i really feel so weak and stupid... ewan.

tv prod's becoming... can't even find the words to describe my ranting. my contact said they're interested and then after a few text messages, suddenly parang ayaw na. haay. i hope they'd reply soon.

major prod. haay.

auditor.auditing.fs. basta yun na.

family problems.

humihilab na sikmura ko sa panahon at mga pagkakataong hindi ko maibalance.
sarap isuka.

sabi ko lang yun. :(

YOU ARE SO WEAK SO DAMN WEAK. USELESS. TANGINA ANG BOBO BOBO MO. WALA KANG KWENTA! NAPAKAHINA MONG TAO!!I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU EVER EVER DESERVED TO HAVE THAT THING THAT PEOPLE GRANTED YOU. EH BOBO KA NAMAN. ALL YOU DO IS TO PERFECTLY DO EVERYTHING THE WRONG WAY!! KAI NAPAKATANGA MONG TAO!!!!

NAPAKAHINA MONG TAO!! SOBRANG..

i wish i have lots of time

proper time management. that's how stage managers do it. but sometimes, and that sometimes happens a lot nowadays, i rarely have time for anything at all. but anyways.. here's the list of things i have to juggle.

• TV Prod- i am the director next week!
• Have to do letters for Coffee shop, still for TV Prod.
• PM. i am the production manager for the major prod. wow.
• venue. venue? venue?!
• money.money? MONEY!!!
  

so there. it doesn't seem a lot but it is more than a handful. really. so there. actually, i'm just waiting for my fucken boyfriend to call... ayan tumawag na siya... hehe tata!

sad and alarming

last night, when i got off the bus, i saw a childhood friend and had a small chat. you know, the usual, kamusta ka-ok naman ako-ang payat mo ngayon-hindi ka na tumaba kind of conversation. and then she asked me:

"hindi mo ba pansin, tumaba ako?"
sabi ko: "oo nga noh?"
"may baby na ko, 8 months old na."

and then she went on with her stories, like "marrying" a 32year old guy. guess what, she's only 19! she even said: "ganon talga, dun tayo na inlove eh."

tanginang love yan.

and then i remembered, i have 2 other childhood friends who got pregnant.
one had a miscarriage and one is about to give birth in july.

and i just found aout a few minutes ago that i have a younger cousin, about 16 years old, who's pregnant right now. pota.

all because of Love? alarming.

that made me think...

i'd love to have a baby someday,
someday.
pero wag muna ngayon. i want a career too,
i wanna see what the world has for me.
ewan. scary yang pagibig na yan.

SUMUSOBRA NA KAYO!!!!!!!!!

of things almost despaired of

...
i do not know exactly what to say.
but i still keep on praying...
even God may be confused of what i really am pleading for,
but i will still keep on praying.
...

things are really harsh now.
i feel so helpless.
people won't understand.
people won't listen.

and sometimes how do you know
na nagdadrama lang ang isang tao?
how would you separate a heartfelt sorrow
from a scripted a scripted one?

i am so confused.
i am crying.
i am deeply hurt.

how come SA AMIN NANGYAYARI ITO??
what bad thing have we done to deserve this?!
i am searching for answers...

still...

It was almost tangible for you to feel..

Too present for you, yet you remain to ignore.

Were you less of what I wanted you to be?

Or am I too much for you to have?




Sorrow, is still here to stay...
When will it ever die?







When will it ever surrender to it's own grave?...

ano daw?

"i'm a passive leftist kasi..."
-Louie, Satur-Ocampo believer

with all due respect to you mr. louie, i know we're not close, not even close enough to describe you as "we're not close", that i hate saying by the way, but i think i have to comment on your statement:

a passive leftist?

never heard of such statement actually. how can one be a PASSIVE leftist? how can it be possible, i know i can be ignorant at times but i think there is a slight contradiction to this phrase you used to describe you and your principle.

a leftist defined:

A broad range of political ideology that is denouncing the of economic and social inequality in the present order of society and advocating the adoption of vigorous public policies to reduce or eliminate these inequalities in opposition of the political agenda of the rightist. Common political paths include socialism , communism , social democracy, welfare statism...

how can you be passive when you try to denounce something, or how passive can you be when you try to strike a change? i'm not trying to be a know it all but how can one truly define what a passive leftist is?

tried to search fot it. but found nothing close enough to your description of what you claim to be.

kung leftist ka, leftist ka!
kung rightist ka, rightist ka!
hindi yung slight lang.. diba?


wala lang.

elections '07

today i woke up early.
drank coffee.
took a bath.
and headed to ourown destinations.
we were to give out flyers and sample ballots,
pwede yun basta not inside the voting area :)

THIS IS THE ROUTINE:

"Good Morning/ 'Gandang Umaga po!"
*sabay abot ng flyer*
*tapos kunin man o hindi...*
"Thank you po!"

this i did for 4 hours--- non-stop.

some people were nice.
and some people were huge aholes.
and some people were MAJOR aholes:

"Ano ba toh?! *sabay tapon ng flyer*
Eh hindi naman makaipit ng pera to e!"
kawawa ka naman, napepresyohan lang prinsipyo mo. tsk tsk

there were some people intelligent enough to ask what was AKAPIN all about.
muntik pa nga ako maiyak. haha ganon talaga paggaling sa puso. chos. pero chos aside...

i received the most fabulous text message of today:

"Kai, pgtpos mo dyan,
punta k central,
first gate, bomoto ka!
andun pngalan mo!"
-Si Papa

wohoo! 11am came and we went straight to central elementary school to vote--- PERS TAYM!
walked. turn right. asked.2nd floor daw.
name?
Docot po!
DOCOT? Naku dun sa dulo dinukot na pangalan mo!
*nyenyenye mamatay ka sa kakornihan mo*
((mga taong taga-baryo at the background: ow? 18 na pala yan!))
No. 64 Therese Ma. Francesca Sarsonas Docot
ayos!

went to the teacher's table, signed my name, stained my thumb, got the ballot, wrote my bet, at napaparaning ako ngayon if i wrote AKAPIN correctly.potah. went back to the table, sealed my ballot, dropped it, and had my index finger stained.

that was it. nakaboto na ako. i hope my candidates will not turn out to be colossal pigs.
hayayayayay.
thank you sa mga nakinig sa akin.
thank you sa mga boboto.

i'll be crossing my fingers...
hayayay!
good luck!

lost charity

woke up at about 10am.
satisfied my inner child and watched detective conan
headed for the drugstore for my father's, erm.. drugs.
went home and told myself imma buy myself something to eat at the bakeshop.

i was about to fall in line when i saw an old couple
real old couple, drinking RC and eating bread.
they were carrying with them a plasticbag-full of foot rags.

i continued walking but my heart and mind stopped at the sight of the old couple.

i don't have money, actually i have, a little. but i already arrived home when i decided to buy the rags they were selling.

my heart was breaking. guilty.
i told my parents about it.
my father told me:

"charity should be given the very moment it came to you..."
a good samaritan who did nothing...
i hate me.


God bless the old couple. :(

VOTE AKAPIN FOR PARTYLIST

para sa mga botante na dyan.

choose the

MOST MARGINALIZED

or yung under-represented na sector of society.
yung mga

"Persons With Disabilities"

okay?

kaya please vote AKAPIN

"Alyansa ng may Kapansanang Pinoy"


thank you :)
message me for details :p

yun na

may 8, 2007
before dinner

kai:papa, may sasabihin ako sa'yo
papa:...
kai:...
papa:o, ano na nga yung sasabihin mo?
kai:si terd po.
papa:ano si terd?
kai:kami na po...
papa:anong kayo?
kai:kami po.
papa:anong ngang kayo?
kai:kami po!!
papa:anong kayo?!
kai:boyfriend ko na po.
papa:...
kai:...
papa:wala na mang masama dun.
kai:...
papa:mukha namang mabait yung batang yun.
kai:...
papa:mahal ka ba nun?
kai:huh?!
papa:baka ikaw lang nagmamahal dun?
kai:hindi a.
papa:basta alam mo ang guhit..
kai:alam ko po limitations ko.
papa:o sige. siguraduhin mo lang

*kai kisses papa sa cheeks sabay alis*

waiting...

there are four stages sa business cycle.
and when you get to that period of depression,
to the lowest point of it, the period of recovery will soon follow.
i still believe in this eco shit.
but the word "SOON" is still so far away.
but i'm still thankful,
i still have a life.
not that luxurious,
had never been naman,
basta. changes.
and sometimes, i wish i could hate the world.
hate it so bad, slap it and kick it's balls
and scream to stop treating us this way.
hindi naman pwede...
PEOPLE.
tae.
i still think it's unfair.
so called friends.
liars.
bakit ba hindi pwedeng,
"i trust you,"
and "you trust me".
why is my family so
JINXED?!

naiinip na ko sa point of recovery :'(

as for terd and i,
i alread told my parents about us.

i feel ok about it. at least.

and

you

definitely

suck

sometimes!

doesn't really matter

"Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon' fight
Oh yes we gon' fight
Believe we gon' fight
We gon' fight
Fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you"

-Don't Matter by Akon

not deja vu please

and so, my second year in ust is over.

and up to now i really am still scared of my test in statistics! well, not to mention bio and rc, but this stat is really wrecking my head...

i slept last night thinking about it, woke up still thinking about it, i switched the TV on and heard "...wala ng pag-asa." and switched the channel and there was this local noontime show whose guests were graduates and their parents..

uh. call it paranoia but i am really going crazy!

it's like economics all over again!
my prelim grade was ok-- just like eco
my final quizzes were.. ugh!- just like eco
and my final exam was pure.. haay..

its just that i cannot afford another summer inside the walls of AB building. we cannot afford another summer class, financially.

i apologize for all those people who visit this blog. i really have to let this out.

i don't want to flunk, nor do i want to prepare myself of flunking, nor do i want to be confident in passing...

i am such a stupid student.

corpse bride

hell week level one finally over!!!

1 Philo Paper
1 Program Conceptualization
2 RC Paper
2 Powerpoint Presentations
2 Phil Hist Paper
and ONE BIG PLAY!

yes we did had a lot of flaws, i admit some of them are my own, but the feedback was so nice adn really heart warming! some of my friends said that it was one play na ayaw mong iwanan, that our actors were delivering their lines so good, our costumes were good too. haay! and not to mention that i was so proud of Hannah, our Victoria. they said that she looked like victoria herself. hannah is this classmate of mine who is really soft-spoken and my, what a transformation (?) she delivered her lines so well. she once asked me to appoint another victoria because she can;t do the job, but we believe in her so much and look! josh too, our bonejangles. we fought one time because he didn't want to sing minus-one. but i pushed it and told him that he was not meant to flop if that was what he was worried about.. and i got touched with what he said tonight:

joshua kho: haha
joshua kho: tnx kai 4 everythin
joshua kho: 4 givin me d courage..
joshua kho: ur d best

that was sweet. haaay. even maam cruz said our play was beautiful. everything paid off, everyone was so great..




mother stage manager,
now signing off. :)

the fate-controlled-kai

admit, i am a dreamless person. i dream a lot ok, but those are called day-dreaming. i personally have no aim in life, no goals, my ambitions are too "ambitious" and honestly...

ang gulo.

ang gusto ko lang namang sabihin ay fate has always controlled me. and this previous AA elections was a another proof.

i was busy reading my history book during the elecetions (hehe, bakit ba may paper eh!) and didn't mind at all, basta may mga manok ako, yun na yun. but the over-unexpected thing happened, i was nominated as an auditor at nanalo ako. whoa.

up to know, hindi ko pa nadidigest ang nangyari. i was just reading about that religious schism and then here comes this job, this responsibility, bigger than me.. and i thought..

"gagu ka kai, lagot..."

God can be really weird sometimes. but whatever God's plan is, sige. i'll strive to be the best, weh? no promises attatched, hindi ko ipplease mga tao,

basta, yun na yun.

and also, maybe i should start believing in myself, they believe in me eh. sayang...

pero kung ibabagsak ako ng stat, bio at RC. shet! baka hindi talaga para sa kin ang trabahong ito :(

tae.

wag naman.

oh. pictures na lang!

this is toitoi and poipoi sa birthday ni nikki

si spongebob sa gitna.

nung nagkatampuhan kami ni lyca

me and my childhood-love ;)

got me afraid to let myself go,

got me afraid to let my love go,

got me afraid to let myself go,

got me scared of you...

BAKIT?!

of chaos and ma'am cruz

At natapos din sa wakas ang linggong ito!!

3 play dates,
2 play,
10 shows,
pagiging assistant director,
at stage manager na rin,
gigising ng aalis ng bahay ng 5:30am,
uuwi ng 11:00pm,
nagkaron ng 2 quiz sa philo,
report sa bio na hindi matuloy-tuloy,
quiz sa bio na wala pa rin akong alam,
conceptualization sa dokyu,
report sa english,
demo sa english,
report sa RC na hindi pa rin natuloy,
isang HEAVY quiz sa RC,

SHET! BUHAY PA KO!!

but this week had some perks din :)

ma'am cruz funny-masungit-na-magaling-na-english-prof.
she gave me a compliment. hehe
we had this demo sa english kasi, newscasting! nem and i were the news anchors. she gave her comment and said that.. *sob* *sob*
she could see my future daw 3-5 years now, as a newscaster!
shet na malagket! gusto ko na sanang umiyak!!
i have a good voice daw the problem with me daw e
ang bilis ko raw magsalita and walang eye-contact. :)

aside from finishing the play, that was my cherry on top of this CHAOTIC WEEK!

where are all my insecurities coming from?

lately i've been feeling so insecure. this year i'll be turning 20 and i don't look like a year older than a 14 year old girl. i'm skinny. dark. with small boobs, no curves and a bird's nest i call as my hair. i'm in second year college and thanks to miss anita who designed the AB uniform, i perfectly look like a highschool, student stockingless in a pair of black pointed shoes.

i feel so ugly.

so ugly.

i've told you that a hundred times i guess.

i've spoke of it with sighs and a dreamy voice.

i've written it down withthe sweetest penmanship.

but, still, to no avail.

insensitivity is a choice..

fuck that.

GUSTO KO LANG NAMAN NG FLOWERS THIS VALENTINES!!!

hehehe :D

PARA!

Inihahandog ng
ARTISTANG ARTLETS...

Ang Opisyal na Mandudula ng Fakultad ng Sining at Panitik...

Unibersidad ng Santo Tomas...

Ang PAG-IBIG minsan kailangang hintayin kagaya lang ng paghihintay sa dadaang jeep o bus para makasakay patungo sa lugar na nais puntahan...

Pero minsan tila wala yatang dumaraan para ika'y parahin. Kung meron man baka puno na o dili kaya'y hindi naman ang destinasyon mo ang ruta.

(Depende na lang kung sasabit ka o maghihintay ng iba pa...)

...tandaan! Pagdating sa tamang destinasyon sumigaw lang nang...

PARA!

Ikaw rin! baka sumobra ka... sayang ang pamasahe!

Ngunit tandaan din na hindi naman laging ikaw ang dapat maghintay eh? Bakit hindi subukang ikaw naman ang magmaneho? Malay mo sa pagmamaneho mo, may makasama ka pa sa road trip ng puso mo!

PARA!Isang twin-bill all original production ng Artistang Artlets...

"Detour" Sa Panulat ni Joanna Marie Katanyag (MMDA Officer)

Sa direksiyon ni Jason dela Cruz (Ang Driver)

"One Way" Sa Panulat ni Michelle Ngu (MMDA Officer)

Sa Direksiyon ni John Emmanoel Moran (Ang Driver)

Sa Pamamahala ni Samantha Sanchez (Ang Kundoktora)

...ito ang PARA! makisakay na ngayong Pebrero!

Mag-abang lang sa ganap na:

PEBRERO 20, 2007- 1:00 NH, 3:00 NH AT 5:00 NH

PEBRERO 21, 2007- 10:00 NU, 1:00 NH, 3:00 NH, 5:00 NH AT

7:00 NGPEBRERO 22, 2007- 10:00 NU, 1:00 NH, 3:00 NH AT 5:00 NH

P50.00 ang pamasahe!

-original text by jmar castro

sa mga nais bumili ng ticket, mag-iwan po ng message sa tagboard :)

salamat! :)

mater et magistra

today, i got turned-off by one of my respected priests..

we have this parish priest kasi na i idolize for his sermons, i think he's so organized, intelligent and all because he sees to it na he has this powerpoint presentation every sunday. so siya yung kinuha ko for that interview na mingu asked me to. knowing na he's good with lectures and all..

so after the mass i approached him in my very pasweet way. he smiled and said what was the interview all about, i said i would like to hear a comment on "mater et magistra" and the next things i heard were:

YOU'RE RIDICULOUS!

THIS IS CRAZY!

BWAHAHAHAHA!

I'm not ignorant!

You don't expect me to memorize the thousands of readings diba?

Kaw ba pagtinanong mo Lit prof mo about this certain book

mabibigyan ka ba niya ng overview? hindi diba?

I teach these lessons pero,

try GOOGLE!

YOU'RE RIDICULOUS!
THIS IS CRAZY!
BWAHAHAHAHA!

and so.. i did my plastic smile and my empathy statements "Yes, father i understand *hahaha*" but at the back of my mind, I COULDN'T AGREE. you teach this stuff, maybe you could at least have 2-3 sentences to give away, diba? with all due respect, i couldn't agree at all. if you would ask me literary stuff, maybe ask me to tell you the core of Steinbeck's classic "The Pearl", i could give you a paragraph of what was it all about! if you would come up to Sir Ferdie Lopez and ask him what Dead Stars is all about he could give you an hour and a half lecture about it, standing, with no book in hand. i know.

maybe i was judging you too much. siguro nga naman it's difficult. but, i got turned off just the same..

*sigh*

and to think na your homily was about humility, you could have said na you forgot, or you'd try to recall and make me come back, or something.. you said you know it, eh. and that you teach it, you burst my bubble..

a reply to unspoken critiques

i know leaving is as painful as being left alone,

and

i am scared of both all the same.

but if i STAY, it is not because i am scared to leave

but because i choose to LOVE..

make no mistake about that.

nevermind

i'm fooling myself,
nobody will take me seriously..

US for that matter.


i'ved always wished to die for one moment.

and see if anyone will ever..

nevermind.

bitching

and so we fought..

and so i cried again..

i knew i was wrong,

rude and nosy..

i'm sorry alright!

do i have to spend my living days

apologizing for that?!

i have to do this freaking paper

and i can't make myself work on it.

you bitch.

you and your

stupid

STUPID

STUPID

voice mailbox!!!!

ugh!

Currently Feeling...

I once said that there are things better expressed when written...

Now I am lost for words of this shit I am feeling right now, I am in search for the right words that would best fit the mixed emotions, the questions, so as of this moment, while I search for my own definition of this haywire in me,

this picture will do for now.

GOD BLESS HIS SOUL

it's either mukha akong mayaman,

or halatang mukha akong tanga kaya nabiktima nanaman ako.

GOD bless his soul...

MY PHONE GOT SNATCHED!

nung una, i got held-up (tama ba?) tapos ngayon naman nilaslas ang bag ko!! my colorful bag and my barely-a-month-old phone!! leche!

i had premonitions nung morning

my seatmate said "kai, ang ganda talaga ng phone mo! pagnawala yang phone mo alam mo na kung nakanino!"

and then nung nilabas ni Jmee yung iPod niya sa jeep, i thought, iPod lessens the "alertness" ng isang tao.. but i shrugged the idea off at nakinig sa Make Yourself ng Incubus..

VIOLA! my phone gone!!

GOD BLESS HIS SOUL!!!

haay.

i have a new phone. ;p

hehe

BABALA

BABALA:

Ang Pag-Ibig ay nakamamatay!
...ang pagtibok ay isang panganib na kailangan mong takbuhan...

bawat pintig ng puso ay isang sumpa na dapat mong takasan...

bawat tamis ay pait na iyong matitikman...

ito na ang simula

Ito ay isang babala!

Ang pag-ibig ay tila hindi regalo ng manlilikha...

isa itong sumpa na sadyang babago ng iyong tadhana!
...ilan na kaya ang nagbuwis ng buhay ng sila'y nagmahal?

ikaw, magbubuwis ka ba?

Abangan sa Pebrero.
Artistang Artlets.Ang Opisyal na Samahang Panteatro ng Sining at Panitik.

Unibersidad ng Santo Tomas.

Love the Arts...Live the Passion...
Passion Abbreviated!