5.17.2007

of things almost despaired of

...
i do not know exactly what to say.
but i still keep on praying...
even God may be confused of what i really am pleading for,
but i will still keep on praying.
...

things are really harsh now.
i feel so helpless.
people won't understand.
people won't listen.

and sometimes how do you know
na nagdadrama lang ang isang tao?
how would you separate a heartfelt sorrow
from a scripted a scripted one?

i am so confused.
i am crying.
i am deeply hurt.

how come SA AMIN NANGYAYARI ITO??
what bad thing have we done to deserve this?!
i am searching for answers...

5.15.2007

still...

It was almost tangible for you to feel..

Too present for you, yet you remain to ignore.

Were you less of what I wanted you to be?

Or am I too much for you to have?




Sorrow, is still here to stay...
When will it ever die?







When will it ever surrender to it's own grave?...

5.14.2007

ano daw?

"i'm a passive leftist kasi..."
-Louie, Satur-Ocampo believer

with all due respect to you mr. louie, i know we're not close, not even close enough to describe you as "we're not close", that i hate saying by the way, but i think i have to comment on your statement:

a passive leftist?

never heard of such statement actually. how can one be a PASSIVE leftist? how can it be possible, i know i can be ignorant at times but i think there is a slight contradiction to this phrase you used to describe you and your principle.

a leftist defined:

A broad range of political ideology that is denouncing the of economic and social inequality in the present order of society and advocating the adoption of vigorous public policies to reduce or eliminate these inequalities in opposition of the political agenda of the rightist. Common political paths include socialism , communism , social democracy, welfare statism...

how can you be passive when you try to denounce something, or how passive can you be when you try to strike a change? i'm not trying to be a know it all but how can one truly define what a passive leftist is?

tried to search fot it. but found nothing close enough to your description of what you claim to be.

kung leftist ka, leftist ka!
kung rightist ka, rightist ka!
hindi yung slight lang.. diba?


wala lang.

elections '07

today i woke up early.
drank coffee.
took a bath.
and headed to ourown destinations.
we were to give out flyers and sample ballots,
pwede yun basta not inside the voting area :)

THIS IS THE ROUTINE:

"Good Morning/ 'Gandang Umaga po!"
*sabay abot ng flyer*
*tapos kunin man o hindi...*
"Thank you po!"

this i did for 4 hours--- non-stop.

some people were nice.
and some people were huge aholes.
and some people were MAJOR aholes:

"Ano ba toh?! *sabay tapon ng flyer*
Eh hindi naman makaipit ng pera to e!"
kawawa ka naman, napepresyohan lang prinsipyo mo. tsk tsk

there were some people intelligent enough to ask what was AKAPIN all about.
muntik pa nga ako maiyak. haha ganon talaga paggaling sa puso. chos. pero chos aside...

i received the most fabulous text message of today:

"Kai, pgtpos mo dyan,
punta k central,
first gate, bomoto ka!
andun pngalan mo!"
-Si Papa

wohoo! 11am came and we went straight to central elementary school to vote--- PERS TAYM!
walked. turn right. asked.2nd floor daw.
name?
Docot po!
DOCOT? Naku dun sa dulo dinukot na pangalan mo!
*nyenyenye mamatay ka sa kakornihan mo*
((mga taong taga-baryo at the background: ow? 18 na pala yan!))
No. 64 Therese Ma. Francesca Sarsonas Docot
ayos!

went to the teacher's table, signed my name, stained my thumb, got the ballot, wrote my bet, at napaparaning ako ngayon if i wrote AKAPIN correctly.potah. went back to the table, sealed my ballot, dropped it, and had my index finger stained.

that was it. nakaboto na ako. i hope my candidates will not turn out to be colossal pigs.
hayayayayay.
thank you sa mga nakinig sa akin.
thank you sa mga boboto.

i'll be crossing my fingers...
hayayay!
good luck!




5.11.2007

lost charity

woke up at about 10am.
satisfied my inner child and watched detective conan
headed for the drugstore for my father's, erm.. drugs.
went home and told myself imma buy myself something to eat at the bakeshop.

i was about to fall in line when i saw an old couple
real old couple, drinking RC and eating bread.
they were carrying with them a plasticbag-full of foot rags.

i continued walking but my heart and mind stopped at the sight of the old couple.

i don't have money, actually i have, a little. but i already arrived home when i decided to buy the rags they were selling.

my heart was breaking. guilty.
i told my parents about it.
my father told me:

"charity should be given the very moment it came to you..."
a good samaritan who did nothing...
i hate me.


God bless the old couple. :(

VOTE AKAPIN FOR PARTYLIST

para sa mga botante na dyan.

choose the

MOST MARGINALIZED

or yung under-represented na sector of society.
yung mga

"Persons With Disabilities"

okay?

kaya please vote AKAPIN

"Alyansa ng may Kapansanang Pinoy"


thank you :)
message me for details :p

5.09.2007

yun na

may 8, 2007
before dinner

kai:
papa, may sasabihin ako sa'yo
papa:...
kai:...
papa:o, ano na nga yung sasabihin mo?
kai:si terd po.
papa:ano si terd?
kai:kami na po...
papa:anong kayo?
kai:kami po.
papa:anong ngang kayo?
kai:kami po!!
papa:anong kayo?!
kai:boyfriend ko na po.
papa:...
kai:...
papa:wala na mang masama dun.
kai:...
papa:mukha namang mabait yung batang yun.
kai:...
papa:mahal ka ba nun?
kai:huh?!
papa:baka ikaw lang nagmamahal dun?
kai:hindi a.
papa:basta alam mo ang guhit..
kai:alam ko po limitations ko.
papa:o sige. siguraduhin mo lang

*kai kisses papa sa cheeks sabay alis*

5.08.2007

waiting...

there are four stages sa business cycle.
and when you get to that period of depression,
to the lowest point of it, the period of recovery will soon follow.
i still believe in this eco shit.
but the word "SOON" is still so far away.
but i'm still thankful,
i still have a life.
not that luxurious,
had never been naman,
basta. changes.
and sometimes, i wish i could hate the world.
hate it so bad, slap it and kick it's balls
and scream to stop treating us this way.
hindi naman pwede...
PEOPLE.
tae.
i still think it's unfair.
so called friends.
liars.
bakit ba hindi pwedeng,
"i trust you,"
and "you trust me".
why is my family so
JINXED?!

naiinip na ko sa point of recovery :'(


as for terd and i,
i alread told my parents about us.
i feel ok about it. at least.