9.30.2006

perfect timing

perfect timing.

the play was rescheduled so we had a play last wednesday. SARAP. almost full house, kahit short notice lang. GO CAPTIVE!!

and because of the UST game that'll be held on thursday, classes were suspended... pero at the end of the day, classes got suspended kasi may bagyo.

perfect timing.

presenting, MILENIO.

ANG HANGIN NIYA PARE! grabe. i was at home, ofcourse and grabe talaga ang LAKAS NG HANGIN! Good thing our roof is still intact, as well as our bonsai mango tree. yun nga lang, BAHA sa loob ng bahay namin. pero,

perfect timing

kasi naglinis ang baranggay tanod ng mga kanal, kung hindi nila ginawa yun, hindi lang hanggang tuhod ang tubig sa loob ng bahay namin.

perfect timing

kasi dumating si joy to help me put my things to safety.

perfect timing

when the flood subsided, terd called and said na tutulong daw siya maglimas ng tubig sa bahay namin.

sarap. he went here and helped sa household chores with mama and my titos, tinuruan maglaro tatay ko sa computer, yes may kuryente kagad kami.. nice.

perfect timing

sana.. kaso, when he was about to go home na, nag-away pa kami..

PERFECT TIMING TALAGA.
-----------

sa araneta, september 30, 2006:

ONE FOR UST!! GO USTE!!!! PANALO KAMI!!

9.26.2006

late

jheng and i celebrated our birthday last night at gerry's grill, libis. at dahil galante si jheng nilibre niya kami. hehe ate dinner and saw NINA. yeah the "soul siren" aasarin ko sana ng "KYLA!!" kaso i got chicken. hehe and then at 11pm my mom fetched me.

----gimmick over----

nah. had a little debate and they said they'll come back after 2 hours. kamusta naman diba? we had dinner at around 9 and then my mom comes strolling in to fetch me at 11? rar. good thing papa was at my side. and then..

i was a virgin at blue onion.

hahaha. literally. blue onion was so foreign to me. so alien. LOSER KAI LOSER. hahaha everybody had their first time anyway, and i had mine last night. i was with jheng, mika, katpottie, anoter kat, leslie and terd. kala ko nga hindi nanaman ako papapasukin parang sa da vinci code, kung haharangin man ako, i have my I.D and BIRTH CERTIFICATE. bwahahahaha!! well, thanks to my stress studded face, i looked 30-something last night.

danced. dirty danced. danced. danced. drinked. danced. and sweated like a PIG. sarap!it was almost like the perfect gift i had, RELEASE. a place to release all that drama. :) happy. joy.joy.

at dahil first timer nga ako sa blue o, (yikee... close?) nashock ako sa 5 ghetto na kalalakihan na ginigilingan si girl.. actually minanmanan namin sila ghetto guys, and they signalled some kemes dun sa girl na halata namang a signal to mate.. uhh.. sex.. o baka imbento lang namin yun? hehehe

sayaw ulit!
*hingal*hingal*

then nagtext na nga ang royal family at about 2:45am. last two minutes daw. ok. went back sa car ni jheng, got my things. nakisabay sa min si terd, papaunta siya cubao pauwing bulacan.. bid goodbye kay terd. then had breakfast at around 3:45am, went home at 4am.

at na late sa LTS...
sobrang late, sabay upo, sabay take ng test, ng biglang.....

"SINO SI MISS THERESE DOCOT?!!"
*kai raises hand*
*iling*iling*



KEBER!!!
SICK AND TIRED!!!!

9.17.2006

Penguin, Penguin...LIPAD!

"Every March, since the beginning of time, the Emperors begin a quest to find the perfect mate. But this is no ordinary courtship. It begins with a long journey through a vast labyrinth of ice--- one that will force them to trudge through an entire continent by foot, in freezing cold temperatures, through perilous waters. They will risk starvation and predatory attacks, under merciless climates, all to find true love..."
-Penguin, Penguin Paano Ka Ginawa
PDI, Chick Flick (Reyes & Cuenca-Dario, 2006)

it seems that the penguin destined for me got stuck beneath thick inches of ice and never came on time to meet me, that made another peguin pretend he was the one for me... a relatively nearer penguin that pretended he crossed vast valleys of ice to get to me, that he fought with non-existent mammoths to see me, FOOL---but turned out to be living just around the icy corners of the cold continent. who just waited a few seconds to spill all the lies he had practiced just a few moments ago.

the penguin i have right now, assumed we could be together forever, he himself predicted that. he told me he wanted two baby penguins. STUPID PENGUIN couldn't even last a day without hurting me...

and he continues to.

if he's the penguin for me, i hope he changes.

if not,

i hope the real penguin will rescue me.

if there really is an Emperor willing to love a fool like me...


"minsan ko lang naramdaman na natakot kang ikaw ay aking iwanan.."
GAGO!

9.09.2006

magulo

Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year

Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
Take our tears and put them on ice
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light

We're the therapists pumping through your speakers
Delivering just what you need
We're well read and poised
We're the best boys
We're the chemists who've found the formula
To make your heart swell and burst
No matter what they say, don't believe a word

Cause I'll keep singing this lie if you'll keep believing it
I'll keep singing this lie
I'll keep singing this lie

Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
Take our tears and put them on ice
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light

We're traveled like gypsies
Only with worse luck and far less gold
We're the kids you used to love
But then we grew old
We're the lifers here till the bitter end
Condemned from the start
Ashamed of the way
The songs and the words own the beating of our hearts

Cause I'll keep singing this lie
I'll keep singing this lie

Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
take our tears and put them on ice
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light
There's a drug in the thermostat to warm the room up
And there's another around to help us bend your trust
I've got a sunset in my veins
And I need to take a pill to make this town feel okay

The best part of "Believe" is the "Lie",
I hope you sing along and you steal a line
I need to keep you like this in my mind
So give in or just give up
[x2]

Are we growing up or just going down?

Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
Take our tears and put them on ice
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light

-----
it's too early to stop birthday celebrations...
i just want to be happy.....
my family just wants to be happy...

9.07.2006

i cried at sir brillo's class

i was early for his class today. well, that's a record. but what happened was actually another tick to the tally of my endless drama files.

he has this activity wherein you'll share infront of the whole class what "passion" are you feeling right now. since i was absent for what it seems like forever i had to do it solo. so i went infront and said that the passion i am feeling right now is mixture of hate-love-hope.

i told everyone about the bullshit my family's going through and the moment i said "family" i began crying. sure they were laughing because i too was laughing at myself but, really.. i was so emotional at that moment that i wasn't able to hold back my kadramahan:

"feeling ko po kasi hindi umiikot yung gulong ng buhay namain.
it's like we're stuck below. and i hate all those people na niloloko ang parents ko. i thought my parents have a lot of friends and my parents helped these people all the time.
uutang sila. at aabot ng thousand thousand. pero nung kami na yung nangangailangan at maniningil na kami wala na sila. mababait naman parents ko. i wanted so much to hate them and revenge for my parents pero i told myself that i was not brought up to be that way. all i can do is to love my parents and to help them in everyway i can, that's why i'm working. and now i am trading my sorrows kay God. and leaving it all up to Him. and i'm hoping things will be better..."


ayun. iyak ako. abot si chessa ng tissue. salamat nga pala chessa. :) at nihug naman ako ni aldryn, thanks :)

i woud just have to cling on to prayers..and just hope things will be better...
i want a HAPPY birthday and a MERRY Christmas... :)

9.04.2006

some late posts

i was cleaning up my desktop and found these old files.. well.. actually they are posts that were left to oblivion, so i am posting it now...
nagdadrama,
kai


080706
yes, i dug his grave. and tried to bury everything that has to do with him. i did. i buried all the pictures, the memories, the laughter, every trace of tear that i shed i buried it 6feet below.

but i forgot to bury the medium of how we met.

and it carried out the words i miss hearing from him.

he said he stil loves me....

hurriedly i took my shovel and dug in again. tried to recover everything, revive everything i threw in that pit. i recovered the words i kept on telling him all over, the places we used to go, though i wasn't able to recover the pictures, it was okay, we will have plenty of those again, i recovered the concert we went to, the dancing and walking marathons we do, gladly i was able to get it all out of that void. and while i was about to walk away and share all of these with with him again, i found my heart at the bottom of the grave...

bruised from all the things i threw down that earth. almost blue and black from all the stampede of memories i threw, typhoon of tears.. i forgot that i tried to bury my heart so that i could forget you..

it is so hard for me to leave you, so i dug your grave and thought maybe these are treasures i have to recover....

but people made me think otherwise..

i love you...

they're making me learn how to unlove you..

YOU are making me learn how to unlove you..

081306


maybe people remain to be stupid because they are afraid of dettachments. gautama buddha said, that life is suffering. and suffereing is brought by attachments. and that is why people suffer, becasue they can't move on, they can't let go.

they are afraid to move on empty handed, holding nothing but hands are bleeding from letting that grip go. they are afraid to move on with no fingers laced to their hands, they are afraid to hitch another ride to soul searching, perhaps, partner searching.

i know i am not the most reliable source to seek some horrid romantic views. but i can say that i felt that ghost everybody's been talking about. i felt it in it's truest form, and i have also tasted it's bitterness. i have been through fake and teenybopper relationship, and a relationship that i no longer know why i kept on staying but for one reason, i am afraid to let go.
-------------------------

sa salamin

tingnan mo nga sarili mo
at ang mata mong mugto
wala ng mababatid kundi,
nakakaawa ka.

kutis mo'y hindi na tulad ng dati
ganda mo'y kupas na,
napabayaan mo iyong sarili.
nakakaawa ka.

saksi ang iyong mga pingi
sa isang libo't higit
pang mga luhang tulo ay panay
iyak na walang humpay.

tingnan mo iyong labi
tuyo at tigang
parang lupang sabik
sa tunay na tamis ng halik

nakakaawa ka,
ang buhok mo, leeg mo, noo mo.
na pinapahalik sa kanya---di mo matawag na ginoo.

nagmamahal ng buong buo at sa katotohanay hubad,
ngunit sa totoo lang nagpapagamit sa isang huwad.
tingnan mo sarili mo,
ramdam ko iyong siphayo
isa kang puta.
nakakaawa ka...

090306
i was reviewing for my finance exam tomorrow. and i unconciously doodled a "love me" in bold letters.. i can't remember why i wrote it. but it just slipped off of me.

"love me"

all i ever wanted was to be loved. by you. you've become a constant blood streaming down my veins. a constant air that i take in. and just like what sigmund freud proposed, you are a freudian slip that i can't hold longer..

i want you.

i know you want me too. sometimes...

9.03.2006

hindi mo ko masisising hindi magisip ng ganun.
sabi nga ng isang makata.

"once you know you cannot not know again..."

minsan ko ng naramdaman yun. minsan na kong nasaktan sa pagkakataong iyon. hindi mo ko masisisi na wag mag-isip. sana naintindihan mo muna bakit ako nagkaganun.

hindi mo pa kasi naramdaan ang pakiramdam na pinagmukhang tanga.

kung ikinahiya mo ko sa pagkakataong iyon, sige. isipin mo, isipin niyo ang gusto ninyo.

kasi hindi niyo naman yata kayang pakiramdaman ang mga naramdaman, nararamdaman, at mararamdaman ko pa sa mali niyong paghuhusga...

"once you know, you cannot not know again.."


"ikaw ang nagbibigay ng dahilan para hindi kita pagkatiwalaan"
- the weddding

9.02.2006