still not so bum today

at about 10:30am I was off to meet the rest of KADA for a badminton session. met AK who always forget my three-lettered name. AK, it's K-A-I. You'll just have to spell your nickname backwards and add the letter "I". haay.

so they were all cursing me for being the most dysfucntional badminton player that ever stepped myan's.. poor me. i'm not really good at anything! soo... i therefore concluded that i was really hungry and could no longer absorb any badminton tutorials. so we went over to angge's, bought lechong manok, 4 bottles of Jaz Cola.. at LAFANG NA!!! Sarap talaga ng luto ni tita!

so there. after that heavenly meal we talked about Mingu's Misadventures to Region IV.
here are a few of her questions on the way...

Mingu: KAI!! San bibili ng card? Sa machine o sa tao??
Kai: Kahit san!!!

SA STATION

Mingu: Bakit puro red na X??
Kai: Maghanap ka ng green na arrow kaya!! Tapos umakyat ka! Mag-escalator ka!
Mingu: Saan?? Bakit hindi umaandar yung escalator??
Kai: OK LANG YUN! Maghagdan ka!

Mingu: Bakit nagkukumpulan yung mga tao?? Ako nasa malayo?? Saan??
Kai: ---wala ng masagot---

SA SANTOLAN

Mingu: San na ko sasakay??
Kai: Sa Tikling Jucntion. yung terminal ng mga FX dyan..
Mingu: Pano to Kai?? Adventure to hindi FX??
Kai: OK LANG YAN!!

That'll be all for now.

After the After-Meal Talk. We went inside Angge's Room (emphasis on ANGGE'S) to bum around. we played the ice breaker game, had fun.

kaso in the end. we misunderstood ourselves. had dead airs. sabi nga ni Jmee that's the problem with Open Forums...

Hayy...

i don't like talking about it either. so we decided to.. READ FHM!! hahaha and i found out something new today about Ge and Norbs.. hayy.. life.

tapos..

we went home. :)

should be posted yesterday, march 30, 2006

I was not a bum today. Look I’m blogging with a smile on my face and it’s because I’M NOT A BUM TODAY! Hahaha because today I did something new, I did something productive and it gave birth to a bittersweet fruit!

Woke up late. Yeah yeah yeah. Called Kat and told her I’ll be there in an hour. Arrived there about 10? When the call time was about 9am? Crammed, did a resume patterned after Kat’s, took a picture of me and bluetoothed it all the way to Kat’s PC and printed it and finally we were off to Ortigas.

---interlude---
---are you having fun?---

DISCOVERY CENTER

Went to the 31st floor, entertained by a French-British-English-Ngongo-Accented receptionist. Filled out forms, fell in line and froze to death.

FIRST INTERVIEW

[[x]] Introduce yourself.
((Kai)) I’m (insert name here) they call me Kai. I’m from the University of Sto. Tomas, currently taking up Communication Arts. A member of Artistang Artlets, the official theater guild of the Faculty of Arts and Letters (since 1980 and still standing..DARNA!) I’m into dancing, singing, writing, reading. I’m currently reading Paolo Coelho’s 11 Minutes. I’, an only child. Love dogs. That’s it?

[[x]]You didn’t try Teatro Tomasino?
((Kai)) (Uyy.. Thomasian ‘to!) Ayy.. No..
[[x]]Isn’t Paolo Coelho’s surname pronounced as (insert foreign pronunciation here)
((Kai))I think it’s Co-el-ho. That’s how my friends... blah blah
[[x]]I see...

AFTER...

[[x]]You passed my interview. I understand you’re a Thomasian. So where do you eat?
((Kai)) (HUH?) Along Dapitan and Asturias! Why?
[[x]]Have you tried Momo’s Grill??
((Kai))YEAH! Once but we never came back!
[[x]]WHY??
((Kai)) ‘Coz it’s expensive!
[[x]]No it’s not! Tell your friends to eat there!
((Kai))Yeah, sure! **WIDE SMILE**

---interlude---
---are you having fun---

SECOND INTERVIEW

[[y]] Hi, introduce yourself
((Kai)) (Same lines..) SINCE 1980 AND STILL STANDING!!
[[y]]I see, so.. I think it’s weird well actually amazing that a girl like you barely 19 is seeking for a job. Where’s this coming from?

*Insert Maalaala Mo Kaya Theme Song*

((Kai))Because my father is already retired and I have to help in augmenting our family’s income... yadadadadada.. *sniff*.. So I guess that’s where the passion’s coming from..
[[y]]I see.. so I believe that you have no job experiences yet.. so tell me about any hardship you encountered and how can this help you here in Ambergris (pronounced with a silent Ssssss)

((Kai))Theater is a VERY challenging job.. (insert hardships here)..

[[y]]I see.. so.. I would just have to evaluate your essay... (maghintay daw ulit ako sa lounge)

*DRUM ROLL PLEASE*

OK we passed the first and second interview and now we have to go to MARKET! MARKET! For the final interview and recoding. Asar. Parang singer!

---interlude---
---are you having fun---

At the Jam Area we met Kuya Nelson, Newton and Jeck. Had fun talking to them! :p

LAST INTERVIEW.

[[z]] So, Tell me something interesting about you..
((Kai))Umm.. (same lines..)
[[z]]Ok.. So can you define Costumer Service in your own words?
((Kai))Customer service is all about satisfying the consumers, giving them back what they paid for and.. (forgot)
[[z]]Ok, so...What can you offer this company..
((Kai))Well.. I am prompt (Sometimes), true to myself and disciplined (woeh?)
[[z]]What do you mean true to yourself?
((Kai)) (OMG. Imbento ko lang ‘yun! ) Umm.. that I will not make you expect things that ((Kai))I cannot actually give you. All I can do is to do my best and come up with a fruitful outcome...
[[z]]So, why do you think we should choose you?
((Kai))Because... I am fresh..?
[[z]]So KAI is saying here that we’re old?? (Tatayo na to tell everyone what I said..)
((Kai))No, no.. I didn’t mean it to be that way! It’s that I’m fresh and you wouldn’t have any problems with my attitude.. (di nga?)
[[z]]Why? Do you have attitude problems?
((Kai))No, Sir, none..
[[z]]So... Congratulations Therese.. YOU NAILED IT! You passed your final interview!

YAHOO!! Hahaha I told you I was not a bum today!! At least I did something productive, ventured to something new today and.. well.. I hope this will do me good.

Thank You GOD for leading Kat and I along the way!
I pray that God will grant me skills to endure this new avenue I’m taking...

Debate with J.C.C Galvez

Define NEED. Define LUXURY.

There’s nothing permanent in this world but change. Our needs back in kindergarten are different from our needs in college, right? So if you say that anything beyond need is luxurious, then that will be doubtful. What needs are you pertaining to? And if these new things, let’s take for example the Flash Drive, if this new gadget will be labeled as luxury then in the first place why was it invented? Necessity is the mother of invention. Why was it invented? It is because it is needed, then it will no longer comply with YOUR statement that anything beyond need is luxury. For it is a NEED to begin with, right? NEED I said is something we to have to make things easier. Ok so you said it’s wrong for need is something we have to have to survive. SURVIVAL. How can you survive if things are complicated? Man has its way of coping up, of surviving and that’s by making things EASIER. And man is still journeying endlessly to make things easier to make it easier to survive. And is that LUXURY? NO! IT’S SURVIVAL. IT’S NECESSITY.

NEED and LUXURY. These two terms are relative in nature. Your need is different from mine and if you say that I am, luxurious it is because your needs are different from my needs and what you call luxury may not be the luxury I perceive in my mind. Right? Everything is a relative term for crying out loud. Damn. I don’t know why are we arguing about this but I have to defend myself in front of everybody...

sa notebook ng tadhana

bukas....

ano kayang naghihintay na kapalaran para sa akin bukas?
ano kaya ang nakasulat sa notebook ng tadhana?
ano kaya ang pangitain ng mga propeta?
ano kaya ang hinain ng buhay para sa akin bukas?

iniwanan na niya ako--- babalik pa ba siya?
at kung babalik siya--- dahil nga ba sa pagmamahal niya sa akin?
at kung hindi na siya babalik---- kakayanin ko kaya?
at kung hindi nga siya babalik---- mamahalin MO kaya ako?
at kung hindi na nga talaga siya babalik---- sa akin MO kaya ibabalin pag-ibig mo?
at kung ako nga ang iibigin mo----- magiging masaya kaya tayo?
at kung ako nga talaga ang iibigin mo------- magkakatotoo nga kaya?

ano nga kaya ang nakasulat sa notebook ng tadhana?

at kung tuluyan na nga niya akong iiwanan------- maitapon ko kayang lahat ito sa basurahan ng nakaraan?...

summer. at last?

done with the 8 horrid exams. here are my ASSumptions for the finals:

CWG: i got 87% only while everybody's having 90s. i checked exams to get incentives. love mam dumawal to death!
SOCIO: cried. natapakan agkatao ko with the type of TRUE or FALSE exam. (partially true, partially false)
ENG: i hope bumukas yung cd ko. CD-RW that is.
THEO: damn easy. hahaha
LIT: can i die now?
MATH: rhetorical topic.
LOGIC: argh!!! most likely to fail anyway.
CA: sana madala ng recitation.

recap:

CWG: CAN PASS!
SOCIO: perfect quizzes. flunked final exam.most likely to pass.
ENG: bagsak na quizzes all over. paper doubtful.
THEO: ummm... ? most likely to know nothing at all.
LIT: flunked quizzes. superb plays. good projects. shitty essay. most likely to be left hanging.
MATH: from a CS of 92 to 81. quizzes with a percentage of umm.. most likely to fail.
LOGIC: doubtful.
CA: most likely to pass.

3 out of 8.
argh..
i'm most likely to die right now.
and that is partially true..

ECO SUMMER CLASS:
M-W Room 205
1-3pm.
P200.00 allowance x 3 days = P600.00 a week.

currently feeling....

done with 3 exams. had 7 blanks on my major's exam, a cheap essay for my literature exam and shitty answers on my logic exams. you know what makes me extra mad is that the lessons/ subjects that i was good at back in highshool were the same lesson/ subjects that i keep on flunking in college! sigh.. 4 exams to go,plus rehearsals, a play and a summer course (yes. course. not courses. i wish!)here in ust and i will finally have my rest... until that day..

lately, i've been feeling this void. an empty space.




maybe i was just reading "BK" way too much..


sa tingin mo?

what now

ayun. at bandang alas-dos ng hapon ay ipinasa na ang huling requirement para sa "finals" period. haay. galing talaga ng marlon gels production. ayus. well anyways sa kasamaang palad ay namulubi kami ni aira sa exam namin sa literature. taeng exam yun. napiga ang mga neurons ko. (sa utak nga ba yun?) dentrites (hindi sa ngipin) at ang napaka-low na memory card ko. kahapon din ay naipasa ko na ang taeng research paper ko sa english nainiyakan ko pa sa netopia gateway.

--hayy. si mingu binabasa entry ko.

----edit later on..----

mingu: kai. may rehearsal bukas, 3pm, colayco. pataba ka. labshu....AAAwwwww. tara na. mahal dito sa netopia.

kai: oo nga.

TODAY

-=MORNING=-
6:30-wake-up nagging c/o mom.
7:00-wake-up nagging c/o mom 2nd edition.
7:05-finally got out of bed.
7:30-done with everything.
7:40-tricycle:with mama:to church-still nagging..
7:45-arrival in church--homily.
7:50-went out to text yamyam
7:50:09sec-mom went out, nagging 3rd edition
8:00-instead of finishing mass, went to market,still nagging.
9:15-went hom, still (insert other word for nagging)
10:00-mama and me, went to edsa shrine.
10:45-mass... no nagging for an hour
11:30-went to gale
11:35-mom nagging over food.

-=AFTERNOON TRAVEL=-
12:00-gale to sm fairview
(eternity) still inside the bus
1:30-sm fairview to almar?
2:15-almar to novaville (yeah. novaville)
2:45-maxine's house.
...
...
...
((shoot.))
...
...
4:30-novaville to bayan
5:00-bayan to plaza
5:15-studio 1. disappointment.
5:25-studio 2. shoot.made fools out of ourselves.
5:35-finally done,shooting.
5:45-decided to take an fx to the mrt

-=LONER'S EVENING=-
6:15-arrived in north,mrt
6:25-arrived in cubao
7:30-arrived home.

that was it.
and in between those EXCITING hours,
i was torturing myself with insecurity...

i was pitying myself all the time for one single reason...
pathetic reason, that is..

darkness again...

for the past few days a lot of people were asking me "ok ka lang?" that question reminded me of joanne. she hates questions like that, because like what she reasons out "do i have to state the obvious?"

but for those people who asked, thank you. i appreciate your concern. i'm ok. ok is a relative term anyway. and my being ok is far better than the ok of some unfortunate people, if you know what i mean.

there are just moments wherein i truly feel that i am not myself, well at least not the pseudo-me i know, someone that i can't hide any longer. i think i'm back with the old, sad and insecure me.

*sigh*

again, hitching another tormented ride to self-discovery...


ma, para....

love's making fun of me

love is picking on me tonight.

i just felt that this is one of those days that you feel that eveything around you was created to destroy you. yes, this day was--IS one of them.

fireworks for bianca gonzales on her 23rd birthday, given by her special someone. that was murder. bianca once told the world that she was actually incomparable with his special someone's ex-girlfriend.. that she felt that she cannot replace that person. she was crying when she was saying this.. and i hated myself for comparing everything with my own life. i tend to ask questions, questions that nobody dares to attend to. i just hate the feeling that i can't take of the feeling of feeling taken for granted. redundant as it may seem but my feelings have gone redundant already. spinning in endless circles of undefined oblivion. eveything. questions like,


ah. never mind. people get tired of my sick love forlorn.

how come i never get tired of it and never really had the chance to stand up and leave...
----------------------------------------------

sana tulad din ako ni lulu. kaya ko rin magsimula sa isang puting canvass. kalilimutan ka.

pero ako, unti-unti. para hindi masyado masakit. pero kung mali ang strategy ko handa akong turuan saril ko na kalimutan ka kaagad. kahit hindi pa dapat... pero alam kong dun din ang punta nun..

freedom board

freedom. freedom is to liberty. when something is free, that something is not opressed.
freedom of expression. a right any man can avail of and as i recall, it is something that cannot be taken away from you.

freedom. so what about that controversial FREEDOM board that a certain joseph something-something posted a somewhat 99-point thesis about atty. something-something. my knowledge about this subject is really anemic and so as the saying goes "little knowledge is dangerous" so i will no longer speak about it. but there was this certain line that struck me:

"nasaan ang absc na dapat ipinagtatanggol ang karapatan ng mga estudyante?...


nasa VARIETY SHOW."

ain't that crazy? para sa taong ito. saludo ako sa iyo. matapang ka. at dahil sa pagiging matapang mo, sasampahan ka raw ng kaso ng SWDB (tama ba?) bago ka gumradweyt.

sasampahan ka raw ng kaso kasi sinabi mo yung nararamdaman mo.
kasi daw nag-avail ka sa karapatan mong ipahayag ang mga ideya mo.
kasi daw nag-sulat ka sa isang,
FREEDOM BOARD.

bobo lang siguro talaga ako at hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ka sasampahan ng reklamo?

if princess lulu and marco jung

ang kape daw hindi na masarap pagmalamig na..
pwede namang initin, hind ba?
pero hindi na raw 'sing sarap ng dati..
bakit naman kaya?
pag-ininit mo andun pa rin naman yung mga sangkap nun..
hindi naman nawala..
lumamig nga pero hindi naman naglaho..
hindi ba't pag mainit nakapapaso?
at yun ang mas masakit at nakadadala..
at hindi ba't pag-sobrang init, nawawala?
hindi ba't yun ang konsepto ng "evaporation" anila?
aanhin mo naman ang init kung wala yung mga dapat na nandudoon,
na inaasahan mong ikakukuntento mo?
init. isang relative term lang naman..
wala rin namang ibang makikialam...



parang love...

i need to get this off my head!!

really!!! argh!! i wanna disappear right now! i am really getting paranoid!! ahhh!!!! it's like this kasi, i called THIS certain theatre bar and asked if how much their venue was for a sunday. yadadada blah blahs and mr. someone, the owner who happens to be a ust graduate from the AB building and from the english department! ok so i thought i hit the jackpot which was really a haunting nightmare!!! because he asked me how much is aa's budget for the venue,

me: umm.. mababa lang po budget namin mga 5o thou or less.. sana nga po mas mababa pa.

argh!! and i found out that the budget alloted for the venue was just, yes, JUST Php30, 000.00!! ahhh!! i'm going crazy!! baka mabato ako ng production manager ko/over-all productions head/ THE goddess!! yeah ok, the venue's not final yet but i gave a fucking 50k figure out of nowhere! argh!! i just hope that mr. someone will lower the price. really. really. REALLY need to lower the price. the owner also told me that his theatre bar was as real as the MOULIN ROUGE! see! how expensive is that!

well anyways. though i can't still get it off my fickle head. i'll see mrs. table tennis again tomorrow.. i'll get yelled at again. flunking again. i'm dying!!!

when will cramming find it's own grave?

i'm using this free internet thingy here in the library, trying to retrieve my research paper and damn, i just relaized that the only program this computer can perform is the internet...

so.. eventually i'm wasting my time here and should therefore go...

nice.

cramming

i have this paper due tomorrow and i need to go to the library first thing in the morning, i also have to search for bars in qc for our play.. haay. there are a lot of things to do. and here i am blogging. hehehe i bought a smart sim tonight by the way because i'm really sick and tired with sun's bullshit. and what's bullshitier is that terd won't change network. screw him! well.. i have ti do my thesis again. and then later on collapse.. sigh.

at the breakfast table

started my day with german franks and scrambled eggs with onions, a coffee and a talk about sexuality, nice topic to start the day right?

((dang. can't find islamusik's site!))

we were actually talking 'bout mich dulce and her anxiety attack then we came across rustom padilla and his confession that earned abs-cbn 5 million more viewers. everybody's so open with the various selection of sexuality now a days.. really. i remember the hierarchy in our faculty/college it's

1. bading
2. babae
3. lalake
4. tibo

that's what they said.

anyhoo i'm currently starting my research paper due on monday and i even came here in netopia to download that GADDAM ISLAMUSIK EPISODE ABOUT NOVELTY SONGS THAT I CANNOT FIND!!!!!!! FUCKNESS!!!!

i have to. i really have to. dang!